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♥ a peek in xuan's life ♥
Sunday, May 24, 2009

I decided to challenge myself this new year and signed up for the 'Saucony 100PLUS PAssion Run' many months ago. As the date draws near, I started to pinch and scold myself for being too 'ons' about this. Isn't it better to stay home on a Sunday morning and just go for my usual Sunday-morning regimes? Rather than giving myself a target and training for it, especially during the 2 weeks break I had to take due to my leg injury.

Anxiety was rising 1 week before the run. The good thing that came out of it is that I was forced to push myself to train - told myself to go run despite feeling all lazy. When I took a break, I would feel all guilty about it later. Gave myself the excuse on Friday that I needed a break, which ended up with me cycling for half an hour instead of running. I need a break from running..

Bin & SIL slept over last night. Had felt pretty bad about it, but they had to come down anyway to drop Ayden for the night. So this morning, we woke up at 530 in preparation to leave the house at 6. Bin's run would flag off at 7, so we had to be here early. Started to scold myself for not getting a milo drink or grabbed a braed before leaving the house. The run for me will only start at 8, I'm so gonna be hungry.

Reached ECP at 645. The sun had yet to rise and here I am, for the run which will only start 1 hour later. I really should've signed up for the competitive run instead, which would save me 50 mins of waiting. Luckily there was my SIL with me, and I'm still waiting for loo to arrive. I wonder where her friend parked.

7.50am. We're in line, hoping that we can be flagged off in the first wave. The horn sounded, and drums were rolling. People started moving, but I am still stuck in the middle. It's started to become warm and the sun shines down on us. I'm so beginning to feel hot and people crowds around me as well, especially when the realisation that I will have to wait for the second wave of flag off sets in. I start to call loo and ask where she is..

8am. Finally, it's time for us to go; but I cannot run! Too many people, and there's no place for me to move. With my SIL in front of me, I followed her. It finally comes a point where I decided that I will go nowhere being stuck with the crowd. Turned around and told my SIL that I will go off first, and I cut through the crowd by running onto the grasspatch. Finally people are moving and I am able to find a spot where I can jog comfortably. Slowly, slowly.. There's 10km in total that lies in wait for me...

1km. I'm starting to wonder if there will be signages which tells me how far I've ran. It had seemed forever bfore I saw the 1km mark. I was starting to feel a little tired. Oh no! It's only 1 km, how am I going to continue the rest of the run? Gotta hang in there, and at least finish 5..

2km. First water station. Took a glass of water to fill my stomach. I was worried about not grabbing a small bite this morning. Running on an empty stomach for 10km didn't sound like a good idea to me. Oh, on the opposite track is the 4km mark. 2 more km to go before I come to this point.

3km. The turning point. It's finally time for me to turn back. It seems like a long run back...

4km. This is where I normally stop when I run on the track. Normally, I would be panting and perspiring like crazy. Today I feel ok. Tired, but I can still continue.. On to the 5km mark...

5km. 5km is usually my limit. I would start to feel tired, legs would feel vey heavy. Again, today I feel ok. I wonder whether it's due to the water stations along the way (where I would walk for 10m while I rehydrate myself). Anyway, I've reached the halfway mark but yet to pass by the tentage. Another 5km to go...

6km. The finishing point for the 5km runners. Rehydrated myself again and pressed on. Maybe I should walked from the 7th to 8th km, before running the last 2km. I wonder if I will be able to finish the whole distance.

7km. This is it. The point where I told myself I would walk. But I'm still ok. I can still run. Slow, but I can continue. I'm just wondering where on the earth is the turning point. This feels like forever.. I shall continue to run, and finish it. This is the challenge I'm giving myself..

8km.
Finally, I see the turning point. I presume this is the 8km point, since I didn't see the signage. Or maybe I was too tired to notice.. 2 more km to go.. Continue running!!!!

9km. It says '14km'. That is 1 more km for me. ONE MORE KM! I can do this. I still have energy. I can finish running the whole run! Go xuan. go!

9.9km. People were cheering me on. Lots of passer-bys were saying '50 meters more to go'. I started to pick up speed..

10km. I FINISHED THE RUN! It wasn't so much about the timing, but the fact that I ran the whole 10km (ok other than the short rests I took while at the water stations. I hate to run while drinking water). It felt good. I finished it and didn't feel like I was dying. That's a good sign.

10km. 75 minutes.

NEXT TARGET: Singapore Bay Run and Army Half Marathon. =)

Labels:


[x]uan @ 12:14

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Thursday, May 14, 2009

Please do me a favour by not asking me about kim

Thank you (",)

[x]uan @ 11:59

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Wednesday, May 13, 2009

It's so irritating when you want a reply but no one is answering your question. You don't know whether you should continue to wait for the reply or push for an answer. What if the person accuse you of pressurizing them again? But.. I really need a firm reply to continue with what I have to do.. I cannot stand at a stalemate forever and not do anything..

I don't know if others understand, but sometimes you cannot be selfish all the time. You have to give the person a reply. Is it positive or negative? Is it yes or no? Do you want or do you not want?

C'mon.. allow others to move along in their lives as well..

I can be passive, but I cannot be the one pushing things along forever. I will wear out at some point in time as well. Do you understand this theory?

Do not see a guy as your future if you are only his option..

[x]uan @ 10:05

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Tuesday, May 05, 2009

It's never a nice feeling to be rejected.
You thought that it's going to be ok this time, and you jumped in despite the fear that it might not work out.
You're willing to give up something else for this decision you made.
But in the end, the result is still the same.
Rejection... is really not a nice feeling..
But I have to admit, I did heave a sigh of relieve.
I didn't know what to expect; it is still a novel thing to me.

I was rejected for blood donation la..
What were you guys thinking? hahaha..

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不是我不说就不在意空等候
原来 你没想像中那么爱我
我不能再从你的怀抱感觉到什么
不爱我别再说 假装爱那是撒盐在伤口

谁说我不在意空等候原来
你从来都没深刻爱我
我才懂不是我不心痛
其实是心没了感受

[x]uan @ 15:24

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