有时候会想
自己做的这些事是为了什么
忙忙碌碌是为了什么
这么累是为了什么

心情很不好
很累
很想什么都不做

是不是高估了自己
我没有你们想象中坚强
也希望会有人关心我
在我想哭的时候安慰我
在我需要人陪的时候在我身边

很讨厌这样的自己
需要再坚强一点

不知道自己在做什么
还不想回家的我 再多人陪只会更寂寞
需要一个只有自己一个人的地方
i need to hide in my safe place......

需要离开这里
去一个可以让我开心的地方
好想出国........ 自己一个人.......
到一个没有人认识的地方

i miss weirong already..
i won't see the lights in my brother's room at night anymore
there won't be anyone to distract me while i'm online-ing anymore
there won't be anyone to tell me 'your carriage has turned into pumpkin', and chase me to bed anymore..
there won't be anyone taking 172 with me on thursday mornings anymore
there won't be anyone telling me latest news and showing me funny videos anymore
i hope he shifts back next sem.. =\

Labels: emo

wow i'm neglecting my blog.. haven't had alot of things ti update recently
except that i'm hooked on facebook. haha me andmy colleagues will talk about the pets and stuff and we will psycho violet to stop feeding her GreenEye with pizza 'cause GreenEye already has a tummy!!!!!!!!! hahahaha which is hilarious..

anyway, you get the point..
i'm hooked on facebook and i still love my colleagues.. haha
we go to gym, play badminton, go out for tau huay, feed our fishes.. hahaha
and do our reports.. we do work, you know.. haa i just pia-ed finish editing my report today. haa~

tired....
hooked on amei and shi xinhui's cds nowadays too..
they have some really nice songs..

ok i shld sleep..

firstly, i want to wish kim a very happy belated birthday...

kim.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! sorry ah, 1 day late..

anyway, i ran 5km today! it's an achievement man.. i never ran 5km at one shot before.. i was in the running mood today.. needed something to take my mind off things.. although i wouldn't mind badminton, but a run on the track was impossible to pass up on..
just that badminton was impossible after i finished my 5km.. i keep spacing out during the game and couldn't concentrate..

it's good i went for the run.. managed to clear my mind, and come to conclusions with some things.. know what's been bothering me, and came up with enough courage to come clean with what i think.. and now that i've said it, i feel so much better.. not bothered anymore, and things are clearer now..

honesty is the best policy..

by the way, i'm officially a ParaCounsellor! haha with loads of teasing in the office..
went to visit april yday! her baby boy looks so cute~~ she names him Wei Xuan. my name!!!!! hahaa i think that names with 'xuan' are totally awesome.. the coolest name!! haa~
my kids shall have the word 'xuan' in their names~

tomorrow's slack day again.. going to dian's house for lunch, then off to IKEA!! finally we can do some shopping for our office.. then i can add things at my cubicle.. have been looking for a chance to go IKEA for a long time le..
finally!
and visiting at dian's house is so exciting.. haa can get to try out all the nice food she's been mentioning to us.. haa green bean with durian.. yums..

did i mention before that i love my work and my colleagues?
let me tell you again k?
I LOVE THEM!!!!! they're the best anyone can get..
i can't imagine how life will be when we leave 3 years later.. cannot imagine walking into the office and not seeing them.. aahhhhhhhh
especially dian, violet and loo seng.. thanks to them, work is great.. we laugh together, eat together, exercise together..
*smiles*

i think it takes time to learn to trust someone.. and it's also not easy being sure in what you want.. sometimes i simply don't.. these are the times i want someone to make my decisions for me.. and allow me to be wilful and rebute the decision made.. will argue with me and purposely let me win..

things are much clearer now..

just ended a 5-day ParaC course. i think i benefited a lot from the course.
not simply better skills, but also a wider social circle.
got the chance to meet more people, and also closer to some.
like yan leen, eric, esmond, edwin etc etc...
they taught me a lot, and had the chance to interact and learn from them..
thank you! =)
hopefully we can continue to keep in touch~

and of course, i also miss my dearly beloved colleagues!!!!
they're the best.. hahahhaa luckily we met them on thurs, if not i might miss them to death.. -oops-
anyway, we went settler's on thurs~! haha fun.. i especially like the 'ghost' game. its soooooooo funny... hahaha especially the way all of us 'aim' jeff!! haha
and had the chance to meet dian's bf~ haha i think he's still not familiar with us la, tts why he's abit quiet..
maybe he can hang out more often with us.. haa~

next week got to go back work le.. a bit sad la.. i miss gg back for lessons.. haha it's been really fun la.. although it's a bit far, but it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. it's quite fast, actually. haha i'm beginning to explore places beyond my comfort zone..

a bit disappointed that i didn't manage to buy tsp yday though. wanted to try my luck after the course ended but it closed le =\ sad~~

i'm baking cheesecake~ hopefully it's nice.. haha
and i want to bake muffins, and brownies.. and a lot a lot of things!!!!! hee..

once again, i found out that more people are reading my blog then i thought there were.
some whom i thought would have stopped reading are still reading.
some whom i thought would never read actually do. so i'm surprised.

i'm actually alot more harmless than people think i am.
i'm PERFECTLY harmless, i promise..
i don't do things which will hurt someone else. so there is really no need to fend against me.
no need to take extreme precautions.
but still, i'm flattered that there are people who thinks i'm a threat.
hahhaahaha women are contradictory

speaking of which, i just bought 2 t-shirts.
T-SHIRTS!!!!
what the hell am i doing, buying t-shirts? i should be buying working clothes la..
it all boils down to my colleague's fault.
violet went bkk and bought me a t-shirt which i totally fell in love with. now i'm so in love with t-shirts and i just bought 2 yday with jy. haha when we both are really shopping for working clothes.
but one of the tee i bought says 'Little Miss Contrary'.. so cute right!! hahha
ok i promise to look out for working clothes the next time.

alright, i got to get back to work.
yes, work, you didn't see wrongly.
i'm on course next week la, and i haven't finish writing my report.
so brought work home.. sighs.. not that i mind, actually. it keeps me occupied =)
ciao~